I’ve attempted a clear out today. I love how travelling alters your perspective.
Admittedly I only managed the virtual half of the clearout before going back into the dissociated bleary state, but I’m going to do the rest when I have a clear head and some time again. I can concentrate for longer and longer now, I’m noticing. My brain is healing.
I’m beginning to realize that I have to reset. Completely. The issue with resetting is, there’s a lot that needs to be smoothed over before you begin, otherwise you head further into the future with all these small regrets eating away. As such, I made peace with a few people. Sent a few texts. Deleted a few messages I really shouldn’t of been hanging on to. Erased some ‘friends’ from the social network.
The truth is, some people have been negatively impacting my life, and I realized a lot of it actually roots from people I associate with when travelling to work conventions. I realized something whilst I was in America this time round – I realized that as I was sat around listening to people talk about the latest gossip, and who was in the area, how weird they were, and who had money and this and that I realized that I honestly didn’t care about any of it anymore. I’m questioning if I ever did. I still love to travel, of course I do, and I love the genuine friends I have made from my involvement with the convention scene, but the truth is, I am so, so done with so many parts of it….
…so ready to move past it. Moving my blog was the first step.
I’m considering shutting down the site after the sales have finished. It served it’s purpose for the time it was there. It’s costing me to keep it there. For those that don’t know, I’m currently in the process of selling parts of my collection, as I had always planned to, and will be listing those last items that have not sold on ebay in the next few weeks. Some particular pieces I will keep out of fondness, but the truth is, I no longer need or want this stuff around.
If you read this, and there’s particular pieces you’re interested in making an offer on, remove the brackets and email me at this address: beyond.kinnetik(@)gmail.com
Everything I have been through in this past year has made me understand how little things like this matter to me anymore – it doesn’t participate in making me happy anymore. And if I can pass it on to someone who does, then that will make me happier.
The cash can go into my savings…towards my future. The future I’m building gradually in my head, the future that I can see now.
Over and out, I’ll be blogging more lately I can feel it.